Love and Interracial Relationships

Erykah Badu and Stephen Marley – I am so In Love with You.

This post is for my baby, because I know that he is with me even when he is far away.

I have decided to talk about my personal journey through my relationship, because what is a blog about race and racism if i don’t look at the experiences and learning opportunities that an interracial relationship has brought me and will continuously bring me.

I have known this man for eighteen years. We dated and fell in love when I was only nineteen, and he was twenty nine. We were very much in love then, and we had plans to get married. I was living in his home town at the time, and his family loved me, and welcomed me with open arms. Unfortunately I was too young, and to make a long story short we broke up. Then life happened, I got married, I gave birth to two little punk rock kids, and then I got divorced. One beautiful day we happened to wander into each other on the internet, and sparks flew immediately. It was like no time had passed at all for us, time stood still, and we were still in love.  The internet is a magical place.

I grew up in a racist home, much like many European-American children then and still today. My family did not approve, but I can’t say that this had anything to do with why we broke up.  I will say that I do see a future of blogs with me exploring and sharing this rocky aspect of our relationship. He is fully aware of the fact that my parents are racist, because I took him home to meet them when I was nineteen, and he is still willing to be with me having this knowledge. My family knows we that are dating again, but they live 3000 miles away from me, and so the realty of this relationship hasn’t quite become real for them yet.

My children are the only two people whose opinions I care about on the details of this relationship. They know that he is African-American. They have talked to him on the phone, and they have seen his pictures around the house. I have even been blessed with another opportunity to teach them about negative stereotypes. My boyfriend has Locks, much like Stephen Marley’s, and he does not grow pot, he does not smoke pot, and he does not sell pot. While I am on the subject of stereotypes I will also add that he is not Jamaican or a Rastafarian. He is not a thug, and he has never been in prison. He doesn’t have any children, and he grew up with both parents in the home. He is working towards his goals of becoming an architect.  He loves the outdoors, and he loves to hike, camp, and kayak.  If any one is wondering, yes he washes his hair and no you cannot touch it.

I made it abundantly clear to everyone that I wouldn’t introduce my children to any boyfriends before dating them for at least six months, and we have been dating for about thirteen months now. We have decided to take this relationship to the next level, and introduce the boys to him. This Monday will be our first outing out  together, and we have decided to go to the zoo.

Wish us luck, and we will embrace the stares.

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6 thoughts on “Love and Interracial Relationships

  1. LOVE IT!!! I am a sucker for love stories and yours is super cute. I agree, the internet is such a blessing. I love it! God bless and best wishes on your upcoming meet & greet!!! 🙂

  2. I’m happy for you. Most of my relationships have been interracial to some degree. Usually half-something and white. Current boyfriend is 25% Filipino, 25% Native American and 50% white. The only time I ever got “looks” was when I was dating a half-Vietnamese guy and the looks were only from other Vietnamese because in that scenario I was the…would it be correct to say outsider? It’s so stupid though. All this hate stuff is just so…unnecessary to me. I fail to see what is to be gained.

    • Thank you for your kind words. You must live in a largely populated community, as I live in a smaller community, and I get stares all the time. I understand how you feel, hate doesn’t make sense.

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